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beebalmWell, here we are. Midnight, and I’m finally getting to sit down and decompress after a long day of work, running errands for my elderly parents, making dinner, going for a walk at a local state park, and a short session at the gym.
While I was toiling over the stove and questioning my life choices (namely, why on earth I agreed to be the primary caregiver to my parents), I had a sudden burst of nostalgia and started remembering an old-school group chat made up of my old LiveJournal friends. I started to pine for that old community we used to have. I know it won’t ever be recreated exactly, but I’m hoping to build something that resembles it here.
In between cleaning up and waiting on various sides to finish cooking, this journal was born.
In truth, I can’t say I’m the most interesting person. I work full time at my home office job and then have caregiving duties in the evening. I don’t have the time to fully pursue all of my interests with my workload, manage my own chronic illnesses, and somehow find time to sleep (which is sporadic and inconsistent, at best).
I think one of my biggest goals for this year is to reconnect with myself and who I was pre-COVID. It disabled both of my parents suddenly and unexpectedly, and they weren’t financially prepared. They moved in, and I lost a lot of what felt authentically me. I know things won’t go back to “normal,” but I have been taking steps, which I feel proud of, honestly.
So even if I have to take my walks after dark and hit the gym at midnight, that’s fine. Progress is being made. I’m not letting the regret and depression win.
Oh and I’m living for the end of May and July because I DO have some trips planned and already paid for. Just have to stave off the burnout until then.
While I was toiling over the stove and questioning my life choices (namely, why on earth I agreed to be the primary caregiver to my parents), I had a sudden burst of nostalgia and started remembering an old-school group chat made up of my old LiveJournal friends. I started to pine for that old community we used to have. I know it won’t ever be recreated exactly, but I’m hoping to build something that resembles it here.
In between cleaning up and waiting on various sides to finish cooking, this journal was born.
In truth, I can’t say I’m the most interesting person. I work full time at my home office job and then have caregiving duties in the evening. I don’t have the time to fully pursue all of my interests with my workload, manage my own chronic illnesses, and somehow find time to sleep (which is sporadic and inconsistent, at best).
I think one of my biggest goals for this year is to reconnect with myself and who I was pre-COVID. It disabled both of my parents suddenly and unexpectedly, and they weren’t financially prepared. They moved in, and I lost a lot of what felt authentically me. I know things won’t go back to “normal,” but I have been taking steps, which I feel proud of, honestly.
So even if I have to take my walks after dark and hit the gym at midnight, that’s fine. Progress is being made. I’m not letting the regret and depression win.
Oh and I’m living for the end of May and July because I DO have some trips planned and already paid for. Just have to stave off the burnout until then.
